This weekend I came across an exercise I did in 2006 as part of one of my Executive Coaching class at UT-Dallas. The instructor had asked us to list tolerations (defined as things that bug us, sap our energy, and could be eliminated) in our lives along with a solution. In this “accidental” review, I saw that all those tolerations had been cleared. Most were fairly simple things such as the garage doors needed painting but it first required bringing the issues into my consciousness and then taking action to eliminate the tolerations and irritations.
Tolerating is essentially about desensitizing yourself. If you put some beautiful music on the stereo and suddenly a lot of racket fills the air—horns honking, people yakking, whatever—you’re going to have to strain to tune out some of those unwanted noises. Part of your energy is going into hearing, part into not hearing. Since some of the musical notes are going to be of the same frequencies as the unwanted noises, you’ll hear much less music. In the same way, tolerations make you block out a lot of life’s happiness, just because you’re trying not to be affected by what annoys you.
Tolerations often represent compromises you’ve talked yourself into. Maybe it’s disrespect from a co-worker. Maybe some parts of your role in a relationship are distasteful to you. Maybe something in your physical surroundings dampens your spirits. But, where you were a kid, you didn’t tolerate much. You announced your displeasure with a scream or a cry. Later you got socialized. You were directed to stifle your feelings because screaming and crying isn’t good behavior to carry into adulthood.
Because manifesting the life you really want means becoming more sensitive, not less, tolerations need to go. Only then, will you have maximum energy on tap for whatever is most important to you.
What are you tolerating that drains your energy and joy?
Take a walk through your house and make a list of anything that irritates you or that is not up to your standards. Identify actions that you can take to eliminate those irritations or tolerations and include a day by which you will take those actions. By taking action, you will move from a place of resignation and defeat to one of hope and optimism. Which do you suppose will support you own personal journey to joy?
“The journey of 1,000 miles begins with the first step.” –Chinese proverb
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